Monetize Your
Existential Crisis
Why suffer in silence when you can suffer publicly for profit?
Turn your life's disappointments into someone else's tax-deductible charity.
*Results not guaranteed. Dignity sold separately.
How it Works??
Three simple steps to transform your personal failures into crowdfunded content
Step 1
Share Your Sob Story
Craft a compelling narrative about why you deserve money for existing. Include photos for maximum pity.
Step 2
Guilt Your Network
Leverage your relationships by making everyone feel obligated to donate. Friendship has a price.
Step 3
Collect & Disappoint
Receive funds, provide minimal updates and let donors slowly realise they've been had.
What We Don't Offer
Honest about our limitations, unlike our competitors
No Success Guarantee
We promise absolutely nothing except to take our platform fee regardless of your results.
Emotional Support
Our community will provide thoughts, prayers, and passive-aggressive advice for free.
Zero Accountability
Spend the money however you want. We’re not your financial advisor or your mum.
Instant Regret
Experience buyer's remorse before you even finish setting up your campaign.
Public Humiliation
Share your failures with everyone you know, plus some strangers on the internet.
Tax Implications
Figure out what this means for your taxes yourself. We’re not the IRS (probably).
* These are features, not bugs. We're very intentional about disappointing you.
"I raised $47 for my 'revolutionary' app idea. It was just a calculator that only worked on Tuesdays. Still more than my last startup made."
Sarah M.
Failed Entrepreneur
"Asked for $5000 to 'find myself' in Southeast Asia. Raised $23. Found myself still broke, but now with dysentery. 10/10 would crowdfund again."
Mike D.
Professional Disappointment
"Needed money for 'content creation equipment.' Bought a ring light and made TikToks no one watched. The platform really delivered on the zero success guarantee."
Jessica K.
Aspiring Influencer